So our trip is about two-thirds of the way through. Some things have
been what I have expected; some things have been very different from
what I was expecting. I came on this trip trying to not have
expectations, but I think that is humanly impossible. The thing that most is different from what I was anticipating is actually ministry itself.
happens there is so very different from what goes down here in India.
First of all conversion to Christianity is illegal. That makes street
evangelism like I am used to very dangerous and impractical, not to
mention there is that whole language barrier thing. We have to begin
with simply building relationship, at the slums, at the leper colony,
at the markets, at coffee shops, in our neighborhood.
Even with the ministry we do at Asha House, the ministry where we have
the most freedom, we still do not see immediate results. We can freely
tell the kids about Jesus and can freely show them love but I don’t
think any of us will be able to see and measure exactly how we impacted
these little ones. Even if we return to India someday and return to
Asha House there is a huge possibility that many of the kids we have
encountered in these three months will not longer be there. Sometimes
kids have to be sent back to their families, if they have them.
For a while I was frustrated with our ministry options. I wanted to get out there on the streets and speak bold truth. I
wanted to provide for beggars and the poor, but instead we get to sit
in the houses of lepers and a struggling pastor and drink chai and eat
biscuits. It felt like the opposite of what I came here to do, but then I had to remember that I really came here to do God’s will.
If that is sitting with lepers and drinking chai and playing with their
children, if that is praying for the beggars that come up to our car
windows as we drive through Delhi instead of handing them some coins,
if that is teaching children addition and the alphabet, I am going to say, “Yes God.”
I have started to figure out that I don’t have to have any
answers for all of the brokenness I encounter. All that I need is a God
who hears me, who speaks to me, who is sovereign, and who is supremely
good.
This is a poem I wrote about my wrestling with this issue:
Like the Universe
My understanding of you
Is ever expanding.
You need neither our words
Nor our clever tracts
Nor our knowledge
Nor our talents.
We are worthless dust
That is only good
When the breath of God
Is breathed into us.
Our truth is nothing
Our joy is nothing
Our hope is nothing
Our love is nothing
Our life is nothing
Without you replacing
Ours with yours.
